The Coffee Shop Test

I have a habit of watching how people treat service workers, especially when I’m standing in line at my local coffee shop. A long line, a person running behind schedule, an order that takes a little longer than expected… those small moments can reveal a lot about how someone handles pressure and frustration.

It’s interesting to observe. And, I think, a way to observe leadership, too.

It sounds almost too simple to mean anything. But pay attention for a few minutes and you may learn more about a person than you would sitting across from them in a conference room.

Are they patient when the line is long? Do they make eye contact? Do they say thank you? How do they respond when their order is wrong? Do they treat the person behind the counter with the same basic respect they would show someone who could advance their career?

When There Is Nothing To Gain, What Do You Give?

I recently spoke at the Arizona SHRM Conference about how feedback should be an everyday operating principle, not a random event. During the session, an interesting point came up from the audience that I happen to strongly agree with: people who pursue leadership primarily for power, money, status or control should not be in positions of leadership.

Leadership is a position of influence, but influence is not the same thing as power. The title, salary, office or authority that comes with a leadership role is not the purpose of the role. Those things may come with leadership, but they cannot be the reason we lead.

The reason we lead is people.

That is why the coffee shop test matters.

The person taking your order cannot give you a promotion. They cannot approve your budget. They probably have no influence over your career. And that is exactly what makes the interaction worth noticing.

When there is nothing to gain, what do you give? Respect? Patience? Attention? Grace?

Those small interactions can reveal something about how we view people when there is no professional benefit attached to treating them well. The same principle shows up inside organizations.

Pay attention to how a leader interacts with the administrative assistant who keeps the office running. The employee who made a mistake. The new person who has not yet earned their place. The team member who challenges an idea. The person who has no decision-making authority.

These moments may never make it onto a performance review. They may never be discussed in a leadership meeting. But they matter. People notice. And over time, people learn what kind of leader they are dealing with.

A leader who genuinely cares about people does not turn respect on and off based on someone's title. They understand that every person in an organization has dignity, perspective, and value. They also understand that leadership is a responsibility before it is a privilege.

That does not mean leaders should avoid accountability, difficult decisions or high expectations. Caring about people is not the same as making everyone happy. Sometimes leading people well means having a hard conversation, making an unpopular decision or holding someone accountable. But even those moments can be handled with respect.

So the next time you are standing in line for coffee, pay attention. Watch how people treat the person behind the counter. Then, more importantly, think about how you treat the people around you when there is nothing in it for you.

Because perhaps the better question is not, “How do I be a good leader?”

It is: “Who am being and how am I showing up, I when I have nothing to gain?”